Roomies
by myfriendfiction
Summary: Ben needed a place to live. He ended up roommates with newlyweds April and Andy. It was a weird, gross, scary, and sometimes even fun experience. Sometimes it was like being a single parent to toddlers and sometimes like having really weird siblings. They might've died had he not been there and he feared he may die with them. Andy started a lot of fires.
1. 25 Times April&Andy Were Bad Rommates

_Chapter 1: 25 Times April and Andy Were Bad Roommates_ _Explores what it was like for Ben to be roommates with Andy and April in all of it's strange, scary, gross, and fun ways through random, not in order, events._

 _Chapter 2: Burt Macklin and Janet Snakehole on the Case_ _Explores how April and Andy found out and confronted Ben and Leslie about their secret relationship._

 _Chapter 3: The Breakup Blues and The Friends That Get You Through_ _Explores how April and Andy found out Ben and Leslie broke up and how they comforted their roommate in their own special way._

 _Chapter 4: Times Are Changing_ _Explores Ben discussing moving out with April and Andy._

 _Chapter 5: The Last Night as Roomies_ _Explores their last night living together and how they commemorate the event._

 **Chapter 1**

 **25 Times April and Andy Were Bad Roommates**

1 "Beeeeeeeen," Andy sing songed as he opened the bathroom door and pulled the shower curtain.

"Andy!" Ben exclaimed trying to snatch the shower curtain back.

"Dude you don't just walk into the bathroom and open the shower curtain when your roommate is in the shower."

"Oh, okay."

"So question, can you show me which button I use on the tv remote to adjust the picture?"

"I'll show you when I get out."

"But can't you show me now?"

"No, I will show you when I get out of the shower."

2 "Ahhhhh, oh my god!" both Leslie and Ben exclaimed startled.

"Is that the smoke detector?" Leslie shrieked as she and Ben, turning his head looked towards the closed door.

"Beeeeeeen," rang through the air as Andy called for his roommate.

"Coming," Ben shouted back as he extricated himself from Leslie's embrace and hurriedly gathered his clothes and tossed Leslie her own.

"It smells like something is burning."

"This is like the worst possible time for this to happen," Ben voiced pulling his shirt over his head.

"Where's my underwear?" Leslie asked through the shrill beeps the fire alarm made as she riffled through the sheets until she found them.

Ben walked to the door as Leslie shrugged on her pants and they both took a deep breath and opened the bedroom door.

Andy stood with a smoking tray of French fries in one hand as he swatted the smoke billowing out of the oven with his other hand.

"Oops, I forgot had fries in the oven. They're all burnt now."

3 "Hey, you wanna play xbox with me?" Andy enthusiastically shouted.

"No. It's two in the morning and I was sleeping until you woke me up," Ben explained."

"Okay man. Sorry I wasn't sure if you were sleeping or not."

"Andy, it is two in the morning. My door is shut. My lights are off. I am in bed."

"Oh yeah. It does look like you were sleeping."

"It's two in the morning on a weekday. You should be sleeping as well. You have work in the morning."

"Oh yeah."

4 Ben blinked his eyes open and rolled over to his back. He heard a creek and felt like he was being watched. His eyes averted to his bedroom door. Out of the darkness he saw a shadow and sat up quickly. The shadow was gone.

"The darkness is just playing tricks on me," Ben thought to himself.

"It was nothing," he thought, "Though it did kinda look like April and I closed my door when I went to bed so why is it open now?"

5 "So this can go with lights, right? April asked.

"No. That's bright red," Ben groaned.

"This can go with darks?"

"No, that's white."

Ben knew April was just trying to frustrate him so that he would just do their laundry for them.

He was very annoyed right now but knew what they were up too and would not give into his frustration and do April and Andy's laundry himself.

"I'm just so bad at laundry," April whined.

"You'll get the hang of it. All you need is eye sight to sort your colors and your eyesight is fine."

April just rolled her eyes.

6 It was after nine and Ben sat in his bed reading, well trying to read as it was hard to concentrate as April was loudly playing music.

"This sounds awful. It's like reggae but German sounding. That's not a thing. It can't be a thing. I am so buying really good head phones tomorrow," Ben thought to himself.

7 "Ben…Beeeeeeeeeen…Beeeeeeeeeeeen," Andy said as he poked Ben in the shoulder.

"What?" Ben groaned as he woke up.

"I don't feel good."

"Ok, why did you wake me up to tell me this?"

"Cause I don't feel good. I need some medicine."

"Then get some medicine."

"But I'm sick."

"You were well enough to walk in here."

"But I need help."

"Have April help you." "She doesn't feel good either."

"Ben. Ben. Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeen."

"Okay, okay I'm up," Ben said getting out of bed.

"What hurts?"

"I keep getting hot and then cold. I'm all sweaty but I'm always sweating. My stomach really hurts."

Ben got April and Andy some medicine, a wet wash rag for their foreheads, and a trashcan in case they needed to throw up.

He had known going into this living arrangement that Andy and April were widely immature. However, he had no idea that he would feel as though he were a single parent to toddlers.

He also really needed to get a new door knob because they lock didn't work.

8 "Boo," April whispered harshly and then walked backwards out of the room.

Ben blinked coming out of his half asleep self and sat up straight in bed.

"Was April just standing over me?" Ben wondered to himself.

9 "Are you wearing my shirt?" Ben questioned as he looked at April.

"Yeah, I had to borrow something. My clothes are dirty."

"So you didn't ask me and went into my room to steal my clothes."

"No, I'm borrowing your shirt. I'm gonna give it back," April said as she rolled her eyes.

"You don't see the problem? Borrowing something means you ask for permission. Stealing something occurs when you take without asking."

"But we're roomies Ben," April said with false enthusiasm, "Are you just upset because you're the same size as a young woman?"

As Ben searched for words to use in his rebuttal Andy entered the room clad in one of Ben's shirts. The shirt looked like a tube top because Andy was so much larger than Ben.

"Good lord," Ben muttered upon seeing Andy. _

10 Ben scrambled in the dark to look at his cell phone.

"11:45 a.m. January 9th and April is playing Halloween music…it's sounds more like sound effects…..from the 1950s," Ben thought to himself as he put on his noise canceling head phones.

11 "Hey, do you guys want to go get ice cream with me and April?" Andy shouted through the closed and locked bedroom door.

"Uh, no. No thank you," Ben responded before Leslie shifted moving one hand to smack Ben in the chest.

"What?"

"I would never say no to ice cream," Leslie whispered from her spot above Ben.

"Two minutes ago you said if you didn't get sex right away you'd burst."

"Well, yeah. You were so sexy negotiating for that campaign event. I just had to have you right away. And now babe we need to do this fast cause I want ice cream right away!" Leslie explained.

"Tell them we're getting ice cream with them."

"No you tell them."

Leslie rolled her eyes, "Guys, wait for us,…..we're just finishing up a piece of paperwork it'll just be like…..,"

"Five minutes."

"Two minutes," Leslie hollered, "You know I'm always a fan of hard and fast so let's get to it!"

12 "Booooo," April and Andy screamed as they jumped out of Ben's closet.

Ben screamed and picked up the nearest object, which happened to be a pillow, to protect himself.

After seeing his enemy was just April and Andy he dropped the pillow as his hands dropped to his knees as he slumped over as adrenaline pumped through his body.

"You really think a pillow would protect you from danger Ben," April scoffed.

"Ahhhh, Ben wanted to have a pillow fight honey, that's why he picked up the pillow," Andy said as he smiled his big goofy smile and picked up a pillow and began clobbering Ben with it. April rolled her eyes but joined in nonetheless as Ben protested.

13 "I'm so hungry," April moaned.

"Me too," Andy complained.

They had both been moaning about how hungry they were for the last hour.

Ben had worked late and then had come home and just fixed himself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

As he sat at the kitchen table eating his sandwich and skimming the latest issue of Accounting Monthly Andy and April were laying on the living room floor complaining about how hungry they were. Ben knew they just wanted him to fix them something to eat. He was resisting as they would never fix him something to eat.

"Instead of complaining about it why don't you guys get something to eat."

"Uhhhhhhhhhhh," the couple groaned.

After finishing his sandwich Ben put his plate in the dishwasher and returned to his room.

After sitting at his desk to check his email he was startled by April and Andy barging into his room and throwing their bodies on his bed.

"Um hello. What are you doing?"

"Oh my god, what?" April said rolling her eyes.

"Why are you here, you came in without knocking, and are laying on my bed?"

"The floor is hard. Your bed is soft."

"There is a couch and you have your own bed in your own room."

"We sleep on a futon."

"So, what's your point?" April groaned.

"My point is that you don't just barge into your roommate's bedroom and lay on their bed."

"Why are you so concerned with your privacy Ben? What gross things are you planning on doing in here besides emailing your mother?" April said accusingly after craning her neck to see what Ben was doing on his computer.

"Listen, it's okay. We're not just roommates. We're also friends so it's cool," Andy explained with a smile. "Also this is a common space and you can come and hang out in our room anytime."

"No, that's not how it works."

Ben didn't know what else to say so he just sighed and went back to returning an email to his mom.

Only a few seconds later April and Andy returned to their groaning and complaining about being hungry.

"Oh my god," Ben exclaimed, "Go get something to eat or go to a restaurant."

"But we're too hungry to move," Andy said.

"Well, you weren't too hungry to move when you came into my room."

Ben held out for about twenty more minutes.

"Okay, how about I fix you a sandwich?" Ben relented.

"That is so nice of you Ben. April isn't that nice of Ben?"

A few minutes later April and Andy sat at the kitchen table scarfing down the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that Ben had made and cut into triangles for them. He refused to cut off the crust. They were adults they could eat the crust or eat around it.

"Ben, this is delicious. On the next one can I get the strawberry jelly?" Andy said with a smile.

"On the next one?" with annoyance laced in his words.

"Yeah. I'm probably going to eat like twelve more."

"I will fix you one more then you are on your own."

14 "April, you will not believe what I just saw. I went into Ben's room to get some more of his tshirts to use as band t shirts to sell. I figured Ben was asleep because it looked like the lights were off and it's late so I used that key you got from the landlord for Ben's bedroom door and I let myself in. I walked into his room and him and Leslie are in there doin it!" Andy laughed.

"Eww, gross. Why are you telling me this?"

"Cause Ben's a nerd but he must be real good at sex cause Leslie seems to be enjoying herself."

"Ewwwwww. I don't want to know the details."

"They didn't even notice I went in there. They were both super into it," Andy laughed.

"La la la la," April shouted covering her ears as she ran outside into the dark night.

15 A scream rang through the air.

"Oh my god."

"What?" April asked with her classic eerily calm stare.

"What are you doing?" Ben asked.

"Nothing."

"You're standing over me in the dark."

"So."

"So, well that's…that's unnecessary. Okay. It's just it's weird and creepy and why?" Ben said breathing hard.

After a silent beat April started walking to the door stopping to turn around and said, "Well, good night. Sleep tight Ben," April then raised her eyebrow, narrowed her eyes, and blew a kiss and then reached out her hand to snatch it back.

16 "Where's the rest of the food?" Ben inquired.

"It was so good Ben. I ate all of it," Andy responded.

"You ate all of it. That was my portion on the stove."

"Oops, I just thought it was left over."

"Why did you think I wouldn't be eating a meal that I cooked?"

"Well, you said that you were cooking us a meal today because we eat terribly and you wanted to make sure we got some nutrients once in a while."

"Here I have one bite left on my fork," Andy offered Ben extending his fork to Ben.

"Nah, it's okay. At least you guys got some real food. I'll just go grab something," Ben mumbled.

April had never even looked up from her plate.

"I only went outside to take out the trash and I got stuck talking to the neighbor for no more than 5 minutes and they ate all of the food," Ben thought to himself.

17 "You were really great giving that speech today," Ben said in between kisses.

"You were really great too. Dealing with Jenn and speaking with Kernsten about endorsing me," Leslie said in between kisses and pausing to take her shirt off from her place in Ben's lap.

"You're such a sexy campaign manager."

"You're such a….sexy candidate," Ben replied leaning in to kiss her neck as he unhooked her bra.

Just as Leslie shucked her bra off and kissed her campaign manager hard on the lips a loud bang reverberated against the wall and Andy and April's voices, giggles, and yes moans began to rang through the air.

"Eww, um," Ben and Leslie groaned their faces bunched up in disgust.

"I can't now…".

"I can't with them…."

"Too weird," they both said at the same time.

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

"We can do it later."

"When we've gotten this experience out of our minds after we've gotten hypnosis," Ben suggested.

Little did Ben and Leslie know that they were being set up.

April had seen the way that Leslie had looked at Ben earlier that day. She knew what Leslie would want and it grossed her out. She knew the couple was too uptight to have sex if they knew her and Andy were. Ben and Leslie doing it grossed her out and she wasn't going to let it happen if she could help it. Also Ben had ate the last muffin so April didn't want him to be happy right now. They were really good muffins.

18 "Hey, Ben come find me and April!"

"I don't want to play with Ben. He can find someone else to play with, like a nerd," April deadpanned.

"I don't want to play hide and seek with you guys. I'm doing paperwork and I'm an adult as are you both."

"Just come find us one time! I'm gonna hide. April go!"

"Beeeeeeeeeen. Come find meeeeeee!" Andy laughed.

"You're behind the couch," Ben shouted, "I can hear you."

"You're really good at this Ben!"

Ben just rolled his eyes.

19 Ben had spent a quiet evening on the couch rewatching some Star Trek. Andy and April had been at a Mouse Rat gig. It was after eleven and Ben was just straightening up and turning off the lights when April and Andy got home.

"Oh, hey guys. How did the gig go?"

"Well, it went great! The pay was awesome. We ate at Sizzler afterwards. Hey, guys I want you to meet my roomie Ben," Andy said as two guys and one girl, that looked like a witch, walked around the corner into view.

"This is Ben. Ben this is…. What are your names?"

"Steve." "Slater." "Gwenivere."

"Oh, hello. How do you all know Andy and April?" Ben said suspiciously.

"We met a Sizzler. We invited them back to play xbox," Andy smiled.

"Oh, cool. Nothing weird about inviting strangers to our home."

"Yeah,"Andy grinned widely.

April walked out of the bathroom as Ben started walking towards his room, "I'm gonna go to my room," Ben stated.

"Dude you can stay and play with us."

"No, it's cool."

"Gwenievere, I want to show you my collection of old wasp nests," Ben heard April say before he went into his room, locked his door, and put a chair against the door knob.

20 "Ben, can you take Champion outside! I think he needs to pee. I can't take him out April and I are in the middle of sex. Just open the door to get Champion but don't look," Andy shouted through the wall.

"Ew, no," Ben shouted back wishing he were anywhere else right now.

"Andy, no. Ben don't come in here," April shouted.

"I wasn't going too," Ben responded as he put on his noise canceling head phones and paced his room trying to find something to distract himself.

21 "Ahh, tell Andy that I don't want to go camping with his brother's family this weekend and I don't want him to go without me. I want him to stay home so we can spend the weekend together, here, in air conditioning. Without other people, except for you because you never go anywhere because you don't have a life," April spat out.

"Tell April that we're always saying no to going camping with my family because she never wants too. It's okay if she doesn't want to go, though it sucks. But I could still go because henceforth it's a family thing," Andy said his voice laced with annoyance.

"Ben!" the couple shouted moving to sit on each side of Ben from his place on the couch.

"I think you both just heard what the other one said so I don't need to repeat or play Dr. Phil. Good luck," Ben said getting up and going into his bedroom shutting the door.

"Ben, talk to Andy!" April whined after slinging the door open and diving onto his bed.

A startled Ben wished he had locked the door.

"Ben, explain things to April," Andy whined plopping himself down on Ben's bed.

"Oh my god."

"Why are you so selfish, Ben? Help us with our problem," April deadpanned.

Ben groaned from his computer chair.

"Andy, April says she doesn't want to go. April, Andy says you never want to go to these things and they're family things so you should make more of an effort to suck it up and go. If April does so Andy you should realize and tell her and show her that you appreciate her doing so. Maybe you could compromise and go for the day but drive back home at night. I don't know."

"Fine," April huffed as the couple moved to sit beside each other.

"How about we go Saturday and spend the night but leave Sunday morning so we can spend the rest of the day back home in air conditioning?" April offered.

"That sounds great honey," Andy said leaning in to kiss his wife.

The couple then began to make out with each other on Ben's bed with Ben three feet away.

"Guys! Guys. Break it up!" Ben shouted.

The couple kept going. Ben leapt up from his seat and tried to shove Andy and smack him in the arm. It did not work. They then began to grope each other. Ben looked away as he moved to April's side tapping her on the back protesting the making up on his bed. April continued making out with Andy and used her hand to swat at Ben. He grabbed her arm and began pulling extricating her from Andy until the two separated.

"Okay, okay," the couple said as they got the message and left Ben's bedroom.

Unbeknownst to Ben the couple went into their bedroom letting out laughter they had been holding in and exchanging a high five. They planned the fight and the making up just to make Ben uncomfortable.

22 "Hey, do you guys want to play hide and go seek? Cause we have four people. We can do two people on each team, um yeah, two people on each team!" Andy asked through the door after knocking loudly seven times.

"Um, no thank you. It's late. We're sleeping, just sleeping or were until you knocked so good night," Ben stuttered.

"Dude, it's like nine thirty!" Andy said causing Ben to look at Leslie in disbelieve as she looked down at him from her place above him with her forehead crinkled up in frustration.

"Good night Andy," Leslie offered.

"Okay, good night." Andy said walking away from the door but he forgot he no longer had to shout through a door and did nothing in attempt to lower his voice.

"They don't want to play. Said they were sleeping but it's early even for them. I bet their having sex!"

"Eww, Andy," April shouted.

23 "I know with the campaign being headquartered here and I've been spending the night a lot if you get sick of seeing me here or it's too much of a burden just let me know. I won't be offended or anything," Leslie said as she stirred the pancake batter.

"It's cool so far as long as you make us breakfast and stuff," April said, "You make us breakfast way more often than Ben does."

"Yeah, and having four people here could really be fun. More people to play games with! We can play hide and seek!"

"Andy, no that's uncooked pancake batter," Leslie said after she turned around and saw that Andy was guzzling the batter.

"I'll see if I can scrounge up something else to make."

24 "So I'm gonna go out for a bit."

"We are you going?"

"The movie theatre, that art house one. They're playing a sci fi movie."

"Which one?"

Ben began to sweat at the interrogation.

"2000 A Space Odyssey." It was true. They were playing that movie in case April checked his alibi.

"Maybe I'll go with you."

"Oh, I don't think you'd be interested in it."

"What's it about?"

"It's about…." Ben began to explain only to be interrupted by April, "Sounds boring. Stop talking."

"Okay, good night."

"Wait, I want to go."

"Okay."

"No. I don't want to go."

"Okay."

"Kidding I want to go."

"I'm confused."

"God, Ben stop trying to get me to go see a boring movie with you."

Ben, flustered and confused, slowly walked out the door as April stared after him.

Ben was really going to see Leslie. They were secretly dating. April was pretty sure the two were secretly dating. She didn't know for sure. But she had her suspicion. She enjoyed using those suspicions to make Ben uncomfortable.

25 "Guys, this is the second time I've told you. Do not use my comforter for your forts," Ben said exasperated.

"Okay. Okay," Ben said with urgency when there was no response.

"We're in a fort in the dark dangerous rainforest we can't hear you," April replied.

Ben sighed and got down on his knees at the opening of the fort and poked his head in, "Do not use my comforter for you forts. In fact, do not go into my room without permission. It is my room. I don't go into your room. I expect you to do the same. Okay."

"Okay," April and Andy agreed with a salute.

Ben then stood and took his comforter with him.

"Dude, why did you just take your comforter? That was part of our fort," Andy exclaimed.

"You're not supposed to be using it. We just talked about it."

"Yeah, but you could wait until we're done using it for the day and then we won't use it again," Andy explained.

"No."

Andy pouted.

"Pretend your fort has a sun roof," Ben suggested and then retreated to his room.

"That's actually a cool idea babe," Andy said.

"Yeah, but now we don't have a roof on our fort to cover us if we have sex," April commented.

"It was very rude of him to take it away. Next time I vote we don't use his comforter as a roof. We lay it down and have sex on it," April smirked.

Andy just laughed in agreement.


	2. Burt Macklin and Janet Snakehole

**Chapter 2**

 **Burt Macklin and Janet Snakehole On The Case**

"Hey, did you park down the street?" Leslie said as she let Ben inside.

"Yeah, I did."

"Hey," Leslie said with a smile as she rose up on her tiptoes to kiss her secret boyfriend.

"Hey," Ben replied back with a smile mirroring hers.

"Sorry it took so long to get here. I had to deal with April and Andy. I didn't know what excuse to use to leave the house. I figure I can only use sci fi convention or sci-fi movie so many times before April gets suspicious. She seemed suspicious, her eyes. They were bigger and more judgey than normal. So I just said I had to get away from them for a little bit and can they please not do anything in my room while I am gone," Ben explained as he and Leslie walked into her kitchen and stood at her kitchen counter as Leslie stirred the pasta she had cooked and put the garlic bread in the oven.

"Do you think they know? Because it would be bad if they knew. Andy cannot keep a secret and April would tease us a lot which could lead to people figuring it out."

"Andy is oblivious. April may be suspicious but she doesn't care enough to find out. She'd be afraid of discovering that I was just doing something really boring when I left the house. I think."

"And why do you live with them?"

"At first I just needed a place quickly and then I was just absolutely astonished with how clueless they are and I just wanted to clean them and make sure they didn't die."

"That's kind of sweet," Leslie commented as she put her arms around Ben's neck.

"Also, we are all really glad you are living with them. We really worry about them and I think you living with them has increased their life expectancy," Leslie explained.

"Oh my god, do you want to clean me, my place, like you're doing with April and Andy?" Leslie worried.

"What, no. April and Andy could literally die in their house. Your house is…," Ben tried to search for the words, "It's seems to be an organized chaos and I like you."

"See, that's how I describe it. And I like you too."

The more time he spent at Leslie's house the more he learned of her hoarding tendencies, well more accurately her ginormous hoarding issue. Luckily Ben had not seen her place pre dinner party she hosted for that Justin guy that forced her to clean her place. She had done a pretty good job, comparatively, keeping the more public areas of her house hoarder free. However, every bookcase was completely filled, every drawer and cabinet was filled to the max and every closet was stuffed full threatening to create a hazardous spill of items that could come tumbling out onto whoever opened it. Also, her dining room, spare room, pantry, and laundry room were so filled with items that one had to squeeze through the doors. The truth was that if Ben hadn't been so crazy about Leslie he would have been mortified and he would have run away.

Only a few minutes after sitting down to eat the doorbell rang. Leslie and Ben were both startled. The sound of the doorbell and whoever had rung it reminded them of the fact that their secret could be found out.

Leslie silently stood up and went to the door.

"Oh, hey April and Andy," Leslie shouted.

"It's Burt Macklin and Janet Snakehole," Andy replied as April pushed past Leslie walking into her house, her eyes roaming around the room.

"Yes, yes, we were just passing by on a special mission and we needed to go to someone we could trust to hide this important jewel," Janet Snakehole explained.

"I thought we were on a mission to see if two of our "cohorts" we're having a scandalous nerdy love affair," Andy said to which April looked at him with pointed eyes.

In the kitchen Ben was trying to figure out where to hide. He opened up Leslie's pantry door causing stacks of newspapers to fall out. He hurriedly worked to stuff the newspapers back inside the foodless pantry. Ben couldn't leave the kitchen without being seen. The only other place to hide was under the kitchen table.

"I…..I was just leaving to go to work. I have some emergency paperwork to drop off…at City Hall where we work. So toodaloo. I have to go and so do you," Leslie said with panic spilling out of her body movement and tone of voice.

"Or we should all three go…to City Hall….or a movie…..or Mexico. I hear it's lovely there this time of year. Let's all go to Mexico! Roadtrip. You have passports right? Let's go get passports!"

April then began to move towards the hallway and ducked into the kitchen with Andy following right after stopping periodically to make spastic karate moves.

Leslie followed behind rattling off facts about Mexico and speaking random Spanish phrases, "Mexico City, Si senor, the 15th largest gdp, amigo, tu quieres gofres?" *waffles*

"Ahh," April shouted as Andy bounded into the room displaying his clumsiest karate moves.

"Dinner for two, the food of lovers-spaghetti like in Lady and the Tramp, a candle, a house, a man and woman that look like they just got caught or ate some bad meat, a rooster statue, a refrigerator…."

"Burt, that's enough," April said.

Ben stood in front of the now closed pantry door silently before speaking, "Hey April and Andy. Are you two here…to help with that project….to sign that paperwork…..," Ben yammered on.

"Hey, they're here for the project. The Playground DeRaccoonize Project," Leslie explained.

"Oh, we thought you guys were doing "it"," Andy laughed, "Well, let's go April. I mean Janet."

"No," April said in her Janet Snakehole accent, "The truth has been figured out. Pawnee is a very uncool place but even Pawnee doesn't have as many sci-fi conventions and movies as Ben has been to lately. He's gotten home past his bedtime on several nights as of late. Leslie just seems like she's keeping some kind of secret. Even for Leslie she's been in a good mood lately. You both have your nerdy handshakes and gross conversations involving documents, Leslie hand delivers paperwork to Ben that she could just give to his secretary or email like she did with the last city manager and likewise with Ben. Stuttering, dopey eyes, candlelight. You are both…."

"DOING IT," Andy interrupted shouting, "EW, gross Andy," April complained forgoing the accent.

"So Ben actually found someone to date him and you're so embarrassed by him that you're dating in secret," April accused.

Leslie and Ben looked at each other. They knew they had been caught. All they could do was damage control.

"Okay. You caught us. We're dating but no one can know. Absolutely no one," Ben explained.

"Ben is technically my boss and I'm his employee so we are not allowed to date. If anyone at work found out we could both be fired. Fired. Fired. Fired. So, I know it's a lot to ask but can you…" April cut her off, "Yes, we'll keep your secret."

"So," April began, "You two are carrying on a secret affair. This makes you both way less boring. But also you're keeping it a secret mostly because it's forbidden but also a little because you're embarrassed by Ben because he's a nerd?"

"No, it's only a secret because it's forbidden," Leslie clarified.

While April and Leslie were speaking Andy had snuck a piece of bread off the table and stuffed it into his mouth.

"So how did you guys figure it out?" Leslie asked.

"Well, Ben was suddenly leaving the house. He's an awful liar. He always said he was going to a Sci fi convention or sci fi movie and as soon as Ben said the words sci fi I started tuning out what he was saying. But the other night when…I…..um needed Ben to do something….(she went into Ben's bedroom planning on scaring him by standing over his bed with a knife as he slept) he wasn't home and it was midnight. Then last night, I left Andy's golf clubs right in front of the door so that when Ben walked through the door he would be forced to knock it down creating a noise to wake me up. It was 5:15 a.m. He showered and then got ready for work," April explained.

Andy then offered his version of the story, "At first I thought maybe Ben was a drug dealer. But then I thought, "No, he'd totally be polite and offer us some of the drugs he was selling. Next, I thought maybe he was a superhero because like Batman he is gone a lot at night and wears a lot of suits. Iron Man and Ben are both good at math. Also, Spiderman is a nerd just like Ben. Then, April mentioned that maybe Ben was dating someone and that if it wasn't Leslie she'd cut his fingernails off while he slept because she thought Leslie liked him. And then I told her that Ben had confided in me that he liked Leslie."

"Aww, April that's so sweet," Leslie commented with a soft smile while Ben just looked scared.

"So, you guys will keep quiet?" Ben asked.

"Yes, we promise," April said rolling her eyes as Andy put his hand over his heart and said, "I promise. Cross my heart and pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America. Amen."

"I'll gladly not tell anyone about this. Because honestly, I don't want to talk to anyone about this. I'll gladly forget that this is happening because Ben is a nerd and Leslie is only a tiny bit less of a nerd than Ben is and your nerd love grosses me out," April grimaced.

"Besides, I'm always pro secret, people minding their own business, and I'm pro lying. I only tell the truth when it makes me sound like I'm lying," April stated.

"Um, so do you guys want to stay for dinner?" Leslie offered pointing to the kitchen table.

"Oh, god no. I don't want to double date with you two," April scoffed as Andy put his hand on Ben's chest and said, "We don't want to intrude but Ben, ya know, just because you have a girlfriend it doesn't mean that you forget about your roomies and you don't make them dinner every single night. So in the honor of friendship I will just take a little bit of this spaghetti to tide me over until we get to Arbys," Andy said as he scooped up a handful of spaghetti off of Ben's plate and stuffed it in his mouth.

April then turned around to leave without a word. Andy took the hint and said his goodbye, "As the German say Adios."

Ben and Leslie were once again left alone with feelings of relief, confusion, anxiety, and hunger as dinner had taken quiet a detour.


	3. Times Are Changing

**Chapter 4**

 **** ** _Times Are Changing_**

"So how much of a window do you want? Like a month or two?" Ben asked his roommates. He and April had flown home for the weekend. While April had gone straight home Ben had gone straight to Leslie's. Leslie had a meeting Saturday afternoon and Ben took the opportunity to go back to the home he shared with Andy and April and make sure it was still standing.

"How about you move out now but pay us rent for the next fifty years or year?" April said as she narrowed her eyes at Ben and he gave her his "Are you serious?" look reserved for her.

"Uh, fine. A month or two of rent after you move out is fine. Do you think Andy and I can afford to live without another roommate? Our last roommate was a real let down. Boring and so uptight," April replied as Andy sat beside her staring off into the distance.

"Um, we can go over your financials. I'll think you'll be okay without getting another roommate. We can go over it," Ben said looking confusedly at Andy who had a huge dopey smile on his face as he looked at seemingly nothing.

"Wait, what? Why would we get another roomie," Andy said focusing his attention.

"Andy, I just told you Leslie and I are moving in together."

"I know. Oh, you and Leslie are moving into her house. I thought she was going to move into here. I mean she is always here. Aww, man."

"Well, her place is a scary nightmare hoarder nest so we're gonna look for our own place."

"Hey, why doesn't Leslie just move in here? I bet she'd play hide and seek with us, babe," Andy said looking at April.

"Leslie's not going to move in with us. Leslie and I are going to move in together in another location because we our adults nearing forty and you and April will live here, at this house."

"Why? It'd be so fun to live with four people. Two people per team for games. Um, yeah. Right two people per team," Andy said with his forehead scrunched up as he mentally did the calculations.

"No thank you," Ben replied looking incredulous.

"You see Andy, Ben and Leslie are going to move in together and live in sin. We don't want their wedlock sin here."

"Oh, okay. What does that mean?" Andy questioned.

"Okay, I'll pay one more months rent after I am all moved out. It's might take a bit to find a place to Leslie's specifications and with her house being a scary nightmare horder house packing her up and cleaning her house will take some time" Ben declared.

"Aww, I'll miss you man," Andy replied putting his hand on Ben's shoulder.

"Yeah,I guess I'll, uh, I'll miss you guys too," Ben said and genuinely meant it. Then under his breath said, "I'll definitely worry."


	4. The BreakUp Blues and The Friends

**Chapter 3**

 **The Breakup Blues and The Friends that Get You Through**

"Hey man. What's goin on?" Andy asked.

Ben had wandered into the living room on Saturday night. April and Andy were watching tv on the couch and Ben had come in the room and sat at the chair to their right.

"Nothing. Just thought I'd hang out here for a bit. It's common space so…..yeah," Ben stumbled with his words and April raised an eyebrow.

Ben usually didn't spend much time in the common areas of the house as April and Andy would often start acting disgusting when he walked into the room or the room looked disgusting because April and Andy were messy and disgusting.

"Dude, why aren't you at Leslie's like you usually are on Saturday nights?" Andy asked causing April to jab him in the side with her elbow.

"Ow, honey why did you jab me in the elbow?" Andy proclaimed to which April looked at him pointedly and let out a sigh. She had her suspicions that the two nerds had ended things but she didn't know for sure and hadn't shared it with Andy yet. Both seemed mopey. There had been no lunches, no nerdy handshakes, no longing side glances. Only a few awkward smiles and a few stuttered sentences strung together. Ann had been around more than usual and had been bringing Leslie lots of desserts and waffles, seemingly to cheer her up. Ben seemed to be taking, what April coined, sadness baths, which made her late for stuff. Ben also hadn't left the house except to go to work. It was really cramping April and Andy's style.

"Oh, well, um, that's you know, that's uh….That's like um…..We, uh…decided….Uh we're not seeing each other… like that…..anymore…..so," Ben confessed for he may not have been a sharer but he wasn't a liar. Well, except for lying about his secret forbidden relationship.

"You're not seeing each other anymore? What? Have you both gone blind or are you always gonna be wearing sunglasses?" Andy asked.

"We're not dating anymore," Ben clarified looking baffled. Andy's special brand of cluelessness, while never surprising, always amazed him.

"Oh, dude that sucks. Did you ask her to make you sandwiches too often or crash her car, or did you "borrow" money from her and not pay her back? Or did she do any of that stuff?" Andy asked.

"No. Nothing like that," Ben answered as his mind pondered the reasons that were now clear to him why Andy has been dumped in the past.

"Did you not have enough time to devote to Star Trek and also be in a relationship?" April smirked and said in a teasing tone.

Ben smirked back at her with a small smile.

"It's just with the relationship being prohibited and Leslie running for office now it was just best to end things now," Ben told them as he ran his hand through his hair.

Ben turned his attention to the movie the couple was watching, it appeared to be about a monster in a lake, and heard Andy whisper to April asking her what prohibited meant.

"Well, now that you're back to following the rules that means you're back to boring. Have you considered wearing an eye patch, Ben? It would make you less boring," April asked. Ben couldn't help but roll his eyes in amusement.

April got up from the couch and returned with a beer for everyone and some cookies.

Ordinarily if April had offered Ben food or a drink he would've been a fool to accept it but this time he could actually tell that the offer was genuine and he was touched. It looked like a free meatball sub wasn't his only reason to stay in Pawnee. Also later that night Andy almost started a fire in the kitchen when he left a plastic container on a still warm stove burner.

"Andy and April may die if I left," Ben thought to himself, "Though I might die here with them."


	5. The Last Night As Roomies

**Chapter 5**

 **The Last Night As Roomies**

"Boooooo," Andy screamed while April simultaneously screamed, "cut out your eyeballs with a spoon."

Ben slumped to his knees breathing heavy.

"How do you guys get in my room? I keep my door locked and the landlord and I are the only people with a key."

"We'll never reveal it," April stated.

"It's your last night here before you move in with Leslie in your new house. We had to scare you one more time roomie. You should have seen the look on your face! Oh wait, you can I recorded it!" Andy said laughing as he played the video on his phone while he and April laughed.

"Anyway, we have a special night planned," Andy explained, "What are you gonna cook us for our last meal together?

"I'm cooking you guys a meal for our last night as roommates? Of course, I should have anticipated this."

Ben pulled together some last minutes spaghetti. Half way through he was pelted with tiny marshmallows. April and Andy had thankfully broke their marshmallow shooters after about two weeks of use so apparently they had bought some new ones.

After dinner the three sat on the porch drinking a beer watching the fireflies and later Andy riding his scooter. Andy fell so it was cut short.

After some ice was applied the three sat down to watch Game of Thrones together with some popcorn. April loved the blood and Andy loved the violence. However, they still called Ben a nerd for liking the show. Ben tried to explain but just grew exasperated after the third minute the couple spent chanting nerd.

"It's late guys, almost one, I'm gonna go to bed," Ben stated and stood up.

"Okay, but first I must give you a speech to commiserate this event," Andy said placing his hand on Ben's chest and pushing causing Ben to flop down on the couch.

"Commemorate," Ben supplied.

"What?"

"Nothing."

Andy spoke into an empty beer bottle, "First of all, Ben you walked into this house and you helped us clean it. Burley had really left a mess. Next, you taught us a lot of important things about being an adult. Like opening a bank account, putting money in the bank, paying bills, stuff about interest. I wasn't really paying attention to the stuff about interest so I still don't get that. Anyways, thanks for looking out for us, teaching us stuff, playing xbox with me even though you really suck, and just thank you." Andy finished his speech with a long hug. April moved her arms in a way that looked like she wanted a hug. Ben skeptically stood still.

"Hug me Ben."

"Yeah, come on. Hug her. She's not going to do anything."

Ben slowly moved forward. April stuck out her leg and tripped him. Andy laughed so hard he fell to the floor. When Ben said goodnight Andy was rolling around on the floor laughing.

After getting ready for bed Ben's cell rang. Before he even looked at the caller id he knew it would say blocked number and that April or Andy or both would be trying to disguise their voice and scare Ben. It had worked a few times but he wouldn't be fooled a third time. It was the last "roommate tradition" the couple hadn't done yet.

Sure enough the caller id said blocked number.

"Hello."

"Ben, look outside your window," a deep voice, clearly April spoke.

Ben then heard a tapping on the window and walked to the window with a smile rolling up the blind.

"Ahhh," Ben's scream rang through the air as he jumped back. Orin stood at Ben's window in his dark cloak holding what looked like a raven in his hand.

"Caw, caw, caw," Orin crooned.

Ben quickly rolled down the blinds. "Okay, you got me guys," Ben shouted after catching his breath and double checking that his bedroom door was locked and placing a chair in front of it.

Ben didn't sleep that well that night.

About half past three Ben was woken up by a loud banging on his door and April shouting and cursing.

Ben opened his door to discover that Andy needed stitches. Andy had woken up with a craving for nachos. When he was cutting up jalapeno peppers he had sliced his finger and was profusely bleeding. He then rubbed his eyes with his other hand causing his eyes to feel "like they were on fire" due to him having pepper on his hand. Ben drove April and Andy to the emergency room. Helped April fill out Andy's paperwork. And tried to hold down Andy's hand as he continually tried to rub his eyes. The three didn't get home until after seven in the morning.

 _Please Review! Should I never write again? How were the characterizations? Is there something else you would like to see?_


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